A Father's Hand
by HeartofSword26
Summary: Gai found out something about Kakashi when they were 16. Something nobody was supposed to know. Pre-Gai x Kakashi
1. Chapter One

Author: HeartofSword26

E-mail: heartofsword@boardermail.com

Title: A Father's Hand

Fandom: Naruto

Rating: PG-13

Category: Romance/Angst

Summery: Gai found out something about Kakashi when they were 16.

Something nobody was supposed to know. Pre-Gai x Kakashi

Warning(s): Swearing, physical abuse

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%

A Father's Hand

%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%

"Why didn't you say anything?!" Gai yells.

"I didn't want you to find out—I didn't want anybody to find out!" Kakashi yells back. 

Gai grits his teeth and stares at his rival. Kakashi glares defiantly at him for a moment before looking away. 

"I...didn't want you to get hurt," the albino whispers. He groans and puts his head in his hands. "You'd try to...I don't know, you'd try to do something—something stupid, like you always do, and I didn't want you to get hurt...."

"That's not much of an excuse," Gai replies icily. Then the sixteen-year old explodes.

"GODDAMMIT KAKASHI, IT WAS YOUR _FATHER_! YOUR OWN DAMN _FATHER_!"

"What would you have done?!" Kakashi snaps, unfazed by Gai's shouts. "What would you have done, Gai?"

"I," Gai snarls, "Would have gone for some help! For the love of Rikagi Kakashi, it was your _father_."

"Yes," Kakashi says, his voice as cold as Gai's had been moments before. "Evoke the name of the food Goddess, to remark on something we had already established. Yes, Gai, it _was _my father. What of it?"

Gai stares at him, unable to believe that Kakashi is pretending to be so ignorant after the truth has been exposed. 

"What of it?! WHAT OF IT??!!!!" 

Kakashi has the grace to flinch at the volume of Gai's voice. 

Gai regains control of himself, and continues his voice just above a whisper. 

"Let me run this by you Kakashi, since the last eleven years seem to have gone blank. Your father, Kakashi—not some idiot ANBU member that Obito hasn't been able to skin, not some uppity jounin that Asuma hasn't been able to stop—your _father_ has been getting drunk off his ass, and beating the shit out of you ever since you were five. Is that clear enough? Or, am I going to have to go through the list of nurses who swore not to tell at your insistence?"

Kakashi says nothing.

Gai remembers the horror that he had felt, as he had listened at the door of the Hatake residence, listening to what was happening. He had listened to Kakashi's cries, the sound of the albino's frame hitting the stone floor—and the sounds of Kakashi's sobs, the sound of his fragile body being kicked, and beaten by the man that dared to call himself the head of the Hatake family. Gai had bolted, after Kakashi's blood had started splattering on the floor, had bolted and run to the Hokage.

Sandaime had wasted no time. Kakashi's father had been a former member of the ANBU squad, but had been ejected from the force for the attempted murder of a teammate. That had been when Kakashi was four. Then, a year later, his father had begun taking his frustrations out on his son.    

Kakashi's father is being held and questioned right now. 

Kakashi is in the hospital with five cracked ribs, seven kunai wounds, and a sprained wrist. He will be released as soon as tomorrow night, but where he will go no one knows. 

Gai is sitting with him now; Asuma and his girlfriend Kurenai are in their beds, unaware of what has taken place; Obito is on a mission with his ANBU squad, and will not be back for three days. Gai wishes that Obito was here now. Kakashi needs Obito more than anybody else. But he is stuck with his rival, which, Gai reflects bitterly, is probably the worst thing of all.

Gai takes a deep breath and tells himself to focus on the here and now.

"You'll be staying with my mother and me," he says calmly. "That way, an eye can be kept on you."

Kakashi nods mutely. He cannot speak; there is a lump in his throat that won't go away. 

His good hand squeezes the sheets of the bed he is lying on.  

He can still remember how his father had beat him, and tormented him, the smell of sake floating in the air, mixing with the scent of his own blood as it had stained the floor. 

He can still feel the pain as his father's kicks and stabs with a kunai had hit their targets with the utmost precision, as white starbursts of agony blinded him.

He hadn't told anybody, hadn't done anything unless he needed to. There were only three people that he had told; those were the nurses that had treated his wounds at this same hospital.

He hadn't said anything at all, because he had believed that it would stop one day, that his father would realize that Kakashi still loved him. That Kakashi would forgive him. 

But it could never be.

The taste of bitter disappointment fills his mouth. Tears sting his eyes, and he tries desperately to resist the howl of misery that is welling up inside of him. 

And now Gai is being so...kind.

Kakashi lets out a wail, throws his arms around Gai's neck, and weeps. 

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Inspired by, "My Immortal" by Evanescence, "Days Go By" by Dirty Vegas, "The Emperor's New Groove," and Kakashi's lack of background and my desire to fill that lack.

I was watching "The Emperor's New Groove" when the idea of Kakashi being abused as a child suddenly hit me broadside. The songs inspired the actual dialogue and text. ^_^ 

I'm not sure if I should continue this or not....

Please read and review!!!  


	2. Chapter Two

**_Hohaiyee_****: Here's the sequel! **

**pantpant **

**It took me forever, to get this up.... And I think there might be a third chapter to! So, stay tuned!**

**_kylee_****: Thanks!**

**_The Fox of burden_****: I don't think the movie played a real big part in the "abuse." I think it was the part when the Emperor was a little baby and he was playing with the bunnies that it came.... Anyway, what does, "onegai," mean?**

**Anybody know...?**

**_Sausweet_****: You don't like Gai pairings?! How can you _say_ such a thing.... Hah hah, I'm only kidding. **

**I can see why you wouldn't like pairings with Gai in them. But he's really a very sweet guy. (He and Rock Lee are some of my favorite characters, they're both so sweet!)**

**I'm so glad you like the movie!**

**_Chisaii Shinobi_****: ****hugs you back **

**Yay! I'll write! I'll write! **

**And... how did you find me?!**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto! And please, review! Flames shall be used to burn the soul of Kakashi's evil, evil father.... hisses

%%%%%%%%%%%%

An Explanation

%%%%%%%%%%%%

"Kakashi-sensei?"

Kakashi looked up at the sound of Sakura's voice. He was sitting in the Hokage monument, reading the second volume of _Icha Icha Paradise_, sunning himself in the fading light of the sunset. "Yes, Sakura?"

Sakura fidgeted. Talking to Kakashi could be very nerve wracking, especially if you didn't know him very well. And Kakashi hadn't exactly made himself known to his genins. It seemed that he preferred for them to find things out on their own, as had just happened a few hours ago.

"Kakashi-sensei, Gai-sensei just told us a story about you. About when you were a kid."

"Was it about the time I kicked his butt six times in a row?"

Sakura hesitated before blurting, "When your father beat you. When he found out."

Kakashi was silent for a moment. "Why?"

"Naruto was complaining again, so Gai-sensei got mad, and -- and he just started telling us all about it--"

"And it all started when I was five, right? And I started to cry at the end, right?"

"Well -- yes."

"That's just like him." At Sakura's glance, he explained. "The thing you have to remember about Gai, Sakura, is that he's a romantic. He tends to blow things out of proportion -- which explains his behavior." The jounin sighed. "But when it comes to this particular situation, he makes things so fantastic that they shouldn't be believed."

"So -- your father -- he didn't--"

"No, he did. But he started beating me when I was fourteen – about a month after the Kyuubi attacked. I pretty much had my thinking set in stone by then, so there wasn't that much affect on my mind." He paused. "No, that's not right."

"What did it change?"

"I don't become drunk very easily for one thing." The albino shuddered. "I don't want to turn out like my father. That would be the absolute worst."

Sakura nodded slowly, assimilating the information. Her turquoise eyes narrowed slightly as a new thought occurred to her. "Kakashi-sensei, why didn't you go for help? You were old enough to know...."

"Sakura, my father's beating me wasn't the only abuse he dished out. It was pretty bad, even before the attack. Nothing I did was ever good enough and I was too much of a freak to amount to anything. It was absolute hell."

"Didn't your mother do anything?" The question was out before she could stop it, and she immediately felt ashamed. What was she doing, inquiring about her sensei's private life? It was very rude, none of her business!

But Kakashi didn't seem to mind. "What could she have done? She couldn't fight him off, and she was too scared to go to the Hokage. My father had the both of us completely cowed."

While his father had never dared to raise a hand against him, he hadn't been happy that his only son was an albino. He liked even less the amount of money it took to keep Kakashi's eyes from deteriorating -- a condition common in people like Kakashi.

What happens is the surface inside the eye that receives light -- the retina -- doesn't develop normally both before birth and in infancy. The nerve signals from the retina to the brain don't follow the "right" routes. The colored part of the eye -- the iris -- doesn't have the pigment to screen out stray rays of light (normally light only enters through the pupils). So normally, albinos have "low vision."

Despite common belief, albinos DON'T have red or pink eyes. Generally, their eyes are blue or slate gray, and even green or hazel. They only _appear _reddish in certain types of light.

Kakashi couldn't remember how many medical jutsus had been used him to make up for that lack of pigment. But he did remember that they had been expensive -- and that his father had not paid for it out of any love for him. Even now, with his eyesight improving with age (another typical trait) he still had to go to the hospital every month to have a jutsu performed so that he didn't go blind.

Kakashi's albinism had been, ironically enough, an involuntary "gift" from his parents. To be an albino, you had to inherit it genetically from your parents. In "Oculocutaneous" (it's a real word) albinism -- the type Kakashi had -- the parents have to be carriers of albinism.

The parents have to have one recessive albino gene each. Then, when they have a child, those recessive genes will pair, and that child will have a one in four chance of having Oculocutaneous albinism.

Kakashi had the bad luck to be slapped in the face with that one in four.

If his father had had his way, he would have requested that his child be handed over to another family. But Kakashi's mother would have none of it. That was the only issue on which she put her foot down, even going as far as to threaten to have an operation insuring she was barren, and have her eggs donated to those without.

Kakashi's father might have been a drunkard, but he wasn't a fool (at least not at first). He knew the woman's love for the boy would drive her to do it; _she_ recognized that her husband wanted an heir more than all else, and held that over the man's head in exchange for Kakashi's physical safety.

In the end though, it didn't matter; Kakashi's mother was found to be indeed barren the year following Kakashi's third birthday. Kakashi never had any brother or sisters.

"Is that why you never went for help?"

"He held me in complete terror, Sakura. I would start shaking every time he entered the room, and I was too frightened to do anything. God, he still gives me nightmares. I don't think I'd be able to fight him even now."

"Gai-sensei said that you still loved him...."

"I told you, Gai is a romantic. He told that story more to impress you then anything else." Kakashi let out a dry chuckle. "It's his way of protecting me."

Several suspicions that had been planted in Sakura's mind began to sprout at that point. "Kakashi-sensei...are you and Gai-sensei....?"

"Are we what?"

Sakura stared at him. Then she shook her head. "Never mind."

%%%%%%%%%

5/11/04: Man, it took me _forever_ to get this up.... Anyway, I hope you guys like it. And by the way, that info about albinos is true! Just go to:

http:

They have lots of info!

5/13/04: I just found out that the link won't work--so I'm sorry to everybody who wanted to go to the site. sob You'll just have to take my word that it's true......


	3. Chapter Three

**_The Fox of burden_****: Yes, Gai was indeed exaggerating. **

**I don't think Kishimoto considers Kakashi to be an albino; otherwise he probably would have mentioned it by now. It just seemed logical to me; with his white hair, snowy skin, and mask it just seemed to make sense.**

**No, I'm afraid this is _not_ leading up to how he got the Sharingan. I am however thinking about making a prequel to this fic in which Kakashi receives his Sharingan, so I think you can expect that sometime this summer break. **

**And yes, I've realized that the link isn't there. grumble grumble Stupid ff.net...... It won't allow links you see, so....... **

**I would _never_ give people a false link on purpose! **

**Grrrrrrrr.....**

**Ho'kay! Next! **

**crickets chirp**

** You...I... noooooooooo...........**

**NO ONE ELSE REVIEWED?!**

**goes off to cry**

**)))))))))))**

A/N: It isn't mentioned here, but one of Kakashi's reasons for wearing his mask is to cover as much as his face as possible. Because albinos have little to no pigment in their skin, they can't tan; they only sunburn. As an albino, Kakashi probably wouldn't be very interested in walking around with his face peeling all the time, so he chose the mask.

Then he got the Sharingan, and pulled his head protector down, leaving one quarter of his face uncovered; and that's easily dealt with by putting on sunscreen.

So. There you go.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

%%%%%%%%%

Price

%%%%%%%%%

"Someone was very talkative today," Kakashi murmured against Gai's ear.

Gai's face tightened and his hold on Kakashi's waist grew snugger. "Naruto was being a real--"

"Yes, I know--"

"So you can imagine how I felt."

"Yes."

"Well then. There you go."

There was silence for a long while. Gai buried his face into Kakashi's thick hair. Kakashi wrapped his arms more securely around Gai's shoulders.

Finally Kakashi said, "I paid my price. So did you."

Gai traced the scar covering Kakashi's Sharingan. The jounin closed his eye obliging as his lover's fingers gently ran over his eyelid.

"At what cost," he asked sadly.

Kakashi said nothing. What could he say?

Instead he kissed Gai, gently and without any demand for his own.

It was a long while before either went to sleep, plagued by their memories.

)))))))))))

Please... sniffs REVIEW!

falls over sobbing


End file.
